capitalization is going to be nonexistant in this note, so. sorry if there are any complaints.

so. rachael's life right now. fun things.
let's try and go through the events in order, shall we?

--my gramma was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and she's having a tough time with that.
--i ditched someone i thought i loved, and the same went for me.
--someone i love turned from me.
--i found a new, truer love. the chivalrus knights are always the best. ...specially if they can feed my cheese addiction. <3
anyway...
--my grampa was diagnosed with parkinson's disease.
--my best friend's girlfriend got mad because he hung out with me.
--another one i love freaked and got mad at me.
--i quit my job.
--then we made up and things are better.
--a friend confessed he'd always had feelings for me.
and now my gramma's worse.

...and i start summer school on monday.
oh, and that 30$ massage that i wanted? yeah, that's totally out of the question. T.T

...did i mention gas is expensive?

honestly i dont' know what to do with myself.
one of my ex's is being a really good friend to me right now, helping out with everything. just listening to me rant.
but... at the same time... i still don't know what to do.
old friends are nice too, but... when you're busy all the time and you can't call them... that just sucks. :/
and new friends that you can't see anymore because of whatever...
argh.

and money, and parents, and friends, and love and jobs and school and sickness and family and stuff stuff STUFF.
it's so much.
and i'ts hard to deal with.
i don't know how to.
but at the same time... there are ones that i can't keep leaning on... because they have their own things to do.
and ... gas is expensive.
but anyway, that's not the point.

my point is... i'm wondering. do we have to go through this alone?
at the same time, how do we keep consistency?

dan, life on this earth isn't hell. ...not unless we choose to make it that way, and even then, who are we... to assume what hell is like? ...it does say in the Bible, but... we've never been there... so we couldn't know.
you know?

...life is just complicated... untill you figure it out.
...i wonder when i'll figure it out. ...

untill then... i suppose i need these people... to help me along...