Caught up in the rush of it all? Me tooo! Sometimes, to me growing up and being expected to take on responsiblities head on and with your muscles flexed just seems like a little too much. Where has all my free time gone? Why do I hardly make time for my friends anymore? Why do I never check my email? When I have free time, it's spent drueling on my pillow. Why? I suppose I've spent a lot of my childhood trying to keep it as long as I could. Trying not to be distracted by boys or drama or boys and trying to live the years I'll never get back to the fullest. I still don't focus on boys or drama, but somehow, growing up has finally caught up with me. I know it isn't all bad . . . sometimes I like it. But when I see one of the many pictures on the wall and am reminded of my previous happy-go-easy life, and sometimes wonder what happened. I've tried blaming it on all the people who have walked out on me, but I understand now that it's just another fact of life. Adults aren't just giant kids, (although they have their moments) there is life experience behind that big round head, that my small oval head hasn't yet dicovered. I know it's only another stage of life, and it will pass (just like emotions do) and I'm okay with that. But it gets just a little overwhelming at times.
   Saying goodbye to your sister/long-term confidaunt as she drives eight hours away for college . . . again. Saying goodbye for the first time to your brother/unseperable buddy, for him to drive and learn away from home as well. And being left all alone in a four bedroom house with a mother who still thinks that seventy's swing dances are cool and exciting. Still not sure how to think about that one. I love my mom, but there is not a bone in my body that was made to be an only child.
 . . . That on top of everything else that comes to a fifteen yr. old. And it only gets worse. But on the other hand, at least mom is still here, and the goodbye's aren't forever.

 . . . Well, what's on my mind.

          Hannah (beverly)