No one can deny the fact that the family has changed in the last forty years. We have faced during the last half of the twentieth century an all out assault upon the family. When nearly one out of two marriages fail, the destruction of society’s values diminish. However, upon the Christian family, the destruction of the family strikes directly at the heart of God’s first established institution. It was not the church, but the family God started in the Garden of Eden.
Marriage has become an easy way to have one’s needs met and in the same vein get plenty of gifts, money and one swell party. People jump out of planes to say their vows. Is this an indication of the frailty of marriage—silken bonds standing between death and a safe landing? Many people do not fully understand the indications God has given us for marriage and his goal of godly offspring.
In this book, we will look at marriage as God intended—an example to the world of his love. God said it was not good that man should be alone. He created a helpmate for Adam and the two of them worked together and fellowshipped with God. However, sin entered into the Garden and into marriage. We struggle against one another instead of working beside each other. We strive to fulfill our needs at the sake of the other person.
In marriage, we find ourselves stressed because families go in opposite directions. Jobs, activities, and hobbies create such a demand upon our lives the restaurant industry has exploded to handle the families having to eat on their way to another activity—perhaps in two different directions. This stress also adds to the busyness of the family, and this stress of having “just one more thing to do” does not create harmony. Children are in their rooms with all kinds of electronic gadgets and only come out to get a drink or a snack. Mom and Dad are trying to unwind, pay bills, and discuss the family’s calendar for the next day so no one forgets appointments, deadlines, or game times.
Hence, the families today, growing up in a fast paced, disposable world take the ideal of God’s plan for marriage and lay it in the waste basket of our busy lives. If I cannot get my agenda with this person, I will move on until I get all my needs met. However, it is not always greener in another pasture. The same stuff that lies on the ground in one pastureland is in the other as well. We just do not see it for all the lush greenery on the other side of the fence. Therefore, we hop the fence and step right into another mess. When I was a child, I went to my cousin’s farm in South Carolina with a pair of new Ked’s High Tops. They were the shoe that made you run faster and jump higher. After wearing them while herding the cows for the evening milking, the shoes were no longer new. This same picture relates to divorce. William Galston, a former domestic-policy advisor to President Clinton, observed, “We have had a great social experiment for the last 40 years, shifting in the direction of autonomy, choice, personal happiness and fulfillment, and away from personal responsibility and sacrifice. We are now asking ourselves whether the experiment was a success or failure.” It can be said the way of the family is the way of society.
We will look at the effects of divorce upon the one flesh of God’s creation—one man and one woman. The destruction of this Biblical foundation leads to grief, loneliness, heartache and distance from God and others. Divorced people are more prone to leave the church for a variety of reasons—their own hurts and pains and the church’s failure to know, recognize and minister to this new type of family. (From the Introduction to "A Shattering Reality--Divorce Care for the Christian Heart"

Steve is the author of A Shattering Reality--Divorce Care for the Christian Heart. It is both a memoir of his life as he went through a divorce with his former spouse and the struggles he endured for over two years. The book is in the final stage of edit and hopefully will be released later in 2008.

The book deals with God's design for Marriage and the painful effect of divorce. It speaks about the grief process and ultimately the means to heal--foregiveness.

A seminar entitled, "Passport to Recovery" is a two day seminar for churches to use to bring Christians hurt by divorce back into the sheepfold. Many Christians fall by the wayside because of the devastation and hurt experience by divorce. Churches do not know how to chare for these "new families" and the potentials they present to the church.

With "A Shattering Reality" and "Passport to Recovery" Vicki and Steve hopefully can help others heal from the pain they both dealt with.

Vicki teaches a class for women using a book they both recommend, "Total Forgiveness" by R. T. Kendal. This book speaks of the continual process of learning and releasing those who have hurt you even when they do not ask for this forgiveness.

Steve is presently teaching a series at First Baptist Church on Biblical Peacemaking. This series helps churches, families, and ministries to understand the command to keep peace.

Happily Married

Steve--Orlando, Florida; Vicki--Cedarville, West Virginia

Conservative Republican

God, His Son and His Spirit.

6'3" Steve and 5' 4" Vicki

Hazel

Brown

Husky

Doctorate in Biblical Counselin (Steve) Masters in Biblical Counseling (Vicki)

North Carolina College of Theology, Liberty Baptist Theological Seminary (Steve) North Carolina College of Theology and Glenville State University (Vicki)

Steve is the Senior Pastor of First Baptist Church in Wellsburg, WV. Vicki is an Educator with RESA VI working with adults entering into the workforce.

First Baptist Church of Wellsburg 304-737-0969

Vicki and Steve have a desire to make Mending Hearts an international ministry. These two speak to groups on Leadership, Divorce Recovery, and Women's Issues. Both bring humor and experience to these conferences.