In the past few months? Hmmm...

Lost my job on May 15th. Was downsized and got 4 weeks severance after five years of loyalty. Was bitter at first, but couldn't be too mad. my job had moved 93 miles away from home and I was commuting a terribly long way. Did that for about 3 months…3 hours in the car each day is long...

had my insides ripped out once I had been downsized. terrible, terrible feeling. I was the Franchise Director for Putt-Putt, the international miniature golf franchising company. a good job, but truth be told, a dying company; and I’m an extremely loyal person, I doubt I would have left had I not been laid off.

nonetheless, it's an awful feeling when someone says 'we don't need you' any longer. regardless of the explanation, reality, or honesty that I really was looking for a new job, just hadn't found one yet.

once I got laid off, the two jobs that I was closest to getting both fell through. I was crushed. and desperate, and lonely, and felt worthless. it was awful. I put on a brave face, worked diligently to get leads on new jobs and networked my butt off. finally the AT&T job broke through and I was hired at the end of July. Trained in Charlotte for 5 weeks, and then two weeks in a town in South Carolina. hard to be away from my family for 7 weeks and we worked HARD. very mentally and physically taxing, but fun all the same.

Was out of work for 6 weeks, of course, God's timing was perfect. In that time, I was able to attend Big Stuf Camp with our church youth group (including my 13 year old son) in Panama City, Florida. (see my blog for what that is all about) It truly changed my life for the better. a spiritual, wonderful week.

had I not been laid off, I would not have been able to attend Big Stuf. Also, my sister and her family visited from Pennsylvania the next week and I was able to spend a lot of time with them.

Spiritual growth? broke down a million times during Big Stuf. emotional, emotional week. saw 'The Setting Sun' over the Gulf of Mexico to the West, reminding me of one of my best friends, and our similar experience coming out of atheism. (Google Switchfoot lyrics/The Setting Sun).

I’ve continued to grow closer to God and have found him everywhere, God is always faithful and true. I never really questioned God during the season of unemployment, but certainly felt hopelessness a few times – oh, hell, a lot…But God provides, God provides.

Am going through some stuff right now as a year anniversary of some major events in my life are occurring. Last October/November, I had some unexplainable physical manifestations of the suffering of others take place in my own body. all of these occurred without me knowing that the other person was being harmed at the same time. so I’m in sort of weird place right now, as I really cannot be as close to this friend as I once was…and it hurts. Much.

Ironically tomorrow will be the one-year anniversary of my first marathon, which was the most pain I felt during that season and apropos for how I felt for three months. Physical and mental anguish/torment/agony.

These unexplainable things sort of peaked several months later once I found ZC and the most important spiritual week of my life happened. This time not so much with physical pain; but emotion, passion, clairvoyance, and surges of faith. Like has never happened to me…EVER.

And yet at this moment, I’m a dry pot, feeling none of the intangible, yet very real, intense feelings that occurred last year.

Wow. What a freakin’ ramble. Sorry to put you all through that. (that is, if you’re still awake).

bk

oh! and PS. downhere has a new album out!!!! Go and buy it!!! Ending is Beginning is the name of it.

Well, as some of you know I got my bar results in May and expected the summer to be relaxing and full of fun and celebration. Instead, this summer was very intense for me both socially and spiritually. I did a lot of pruning in my life, cut ties to things and people that were affecting my faith. This was very painful for me to do but it was for the best. I am so much happier and surrounded by the positive people I need to keep moving forward with my faith. I have become a lot more involved with my LA church and also became involved with a major project led by my church in San Diego. God has brought some lifelong Christian friends into my life and as a result I have been able to stay strong with my faith.

The end of September I started a 40 day fast and tomorrow is my last day. It has been an amazing experience for me and although it hasn't been enjoyable, God showed me things that I never knew possible. The discipline you learn from fasting is so valuable for future challenges. I am excited for the end of this fast and to see what challenges God will bring into my life in the near future.

Looking forward into November and December, I am hoping to reach out to more nonbelievers.... My friend Shannon started an amazing ministry called CyberSaints that reaches out to nonbelievers on the Internet- Facebook and Myspace, etc... I am very excited for this ministry. I am also excited about Treasures- iamatreasure.com. I started to get involved with this ministry this summer and it is awesome! I also want to better equip myself with the knowledge and resources to engage in intelligent conversations with atheists/agnostics about Christianity. Many of you know that I am very passionate about this.

I hope everyone is well and look forward to reading more updates!

Wow, you two really had quite the summer/fall! Since I've started my career I haven't really felt like I've had that summer experience. My life has pretty much resolved around my work, which has been quite the experience indeed! This is my first year working in the book publishing business, an area I know very little about other than the fact that I like books. I'm on a two year project with the book, Chickasaw Renaissance, and this whole year has been the principal photography phase in the project. I have literally traveled all over the US and the Chickasaw Nation (covers 13 1/2 counties in southern OK).

I am very blessed to have a job that influences my spirituality, which strangely this one does. I've had the chance to meet hundreds of people and really see how culture and history play int our own spiritual experiences. As for me, I've become a much more open person - something God has been working on me for a while. It's a lovely dynamic to learn how to be grounded in certain things while allowing the rest of the world to loose all perimeters.

And of course, there's been that thing where God's been working with me on my sad non existent love life. I have NO idea how I think about that!

~Talowa, the amazing traveler.

Thanks for the update Talowa! You're lovelife can't be more dead than mine! God's timing is perfect

Timing is everything, but right now I'm still being reluctant towards the idea of dating all together (and not for any 'Christian' reasons - I'm just not all that sure I want to mess with that kind of a relationship.) God seems to feel differently on the subject. How backwards is that?

ps - I love those Mickey Mouse ears in the profile pic!

Bob- I am glad that God walk through the valley with us in this struggling economy. Though yellow pages hears from you more than I do now, I praise God for the busy job He gave you.

Jen- I am so sorry for the struggle, just when there was light at the end of the tunnel! Praise God for the ministry you found on-line.

Talowa- Journey on! Pursue Him and the rest will be added to you.

Let's see, I finished the summer unit of my clinicals back in Tyler and moved to San Antonio for this year of residency. I have been drawn to establish a house church and my husband is slowly coming along. Just as Jen has been active online with CyberSaints, I have been hyper-active at SimpleChurch.com BTW, you are all welcome to join because there are ENDLESS grown-up debates about the state of the institutional church, doctrine, evangelism & witness, grief and transformational groups, and local area groups.

Shalom.

Wow! Everybody had a busy summer. I’m glad we all made through with out any MAJOR injuries. We’re healthy, have our family and friends (not to forget those on ZC), and God and even though we may have been going through some very tough times, He is always with us.

My summer started out with the partial collapse of a retaining wall that runs along the property line of our property and our neighbors. We had been planning to replace it but just but this soon. So we went to work, tore down the whole wall, all 110 feet of it, had the footers dug and another friend and I spent most of the summer laying cement block. Other than a slight curve in the wall, it turned out pretty good. I don’t think I’ll be doing that again. One thing that did happen—while laying the block and mixing the mortar I did learn each and every word to Toby Mac’s CD portable sounds and Super Chick’s rock what you got CD among listening to the all of the others I have on my phone.

In September we learned that our plant was closing and the company was moving production to Mexico. We should be closed by March 2009. I spa zed and went crazy only for a little while, but I know everything is in Gods hands and he will provide. As a matter of fact, I feel that God has given me a book project to work on and I am diligently working on it. Only a few on Zoe City know what the project is right now but soon I plan to let everybody know.

Merry Christmas to all and, may you all have a very, very blessed New Year!!